In Which Teacher Meaghan Experiences KTV

Purple Sky Post-Tornado: Awesomest Birthday Ever

So, for my birthday, we had a tornado (for real, not a frickin’ dust devil but the real deal) form outside of our school. It was about 5:00 in the afternoon, and it was a big swirling cloud of awesome that started to form the funnel before it copped out. It looked like someone was rapidly stirring the clouds with a stick – straw in a foamy milkshake sort of deal. Then, the sky turned extremely purple (See Above).

And then I got really drunk.

On Saturday, I went to Taipei. Our bus was… well, even Marvis thought the driver might be on the dangerous side of the intoxication line, and he certainly drove like he’d been on a recent and intense bender. There was lots of wobbling, sudden braking, and general oddness, but I hadn’t been on a bus in Taiwan before so I thought it was a normal thing until Marvis commented.

Umm... where the Hell are we?

Once in Taipei, we caught up with Allison and Scott, and went to the Happy Family 2 Hostel to drop off our stuff. Then we headed in the general direction of Wulai, guided by Allison. Allison, who got us to get off the bus one stop too early. Allison, who encouraged us to walk forward for about 20 minutes until we saw a sign which read 5.5 km to Wulai. Allison, who then let us catch a taxi . Wulai was awesome, all warm and filled with wrinkly but nice Taiwanese folks who helpfully directed us through the whole hot spring experience. More complicated than one might  think, this involved free drinks, piss-smelling dressing rooms, and milk-carton aided showers.

Wulai Hot Springs

Waterlogged, rested and covered in minerals, we made our way back to Taipei, where we followed Marvis for 15 minutes in the wrong direction, turned around and walked 20 minutes in the right direction to the Dinosaur Restaurant. They served crocodile, ostrich, frog… but since we were all sharing food, they vetoed all of these food choices when I suggested them. This has firmly established the fact that they are not as cool as I am, not that this needed any clarification. Some guy at the restaurant hurled everywhere at about 11:00, being as he was rather inebriated, and then we decided to clear out. We went to a bar that Marvis had always wanted to go to but never actually been in while she’d gone to school here, and then decided to take another taxi to a KTV place. By this point, Marvis was wasted in the backseat, and decided to let me handle directions. This did not work so well, but we had, in a fit of genius, had her write “Taipei Train Station” in Chinese on our body parts. Mine was the only clear one, so I got to take front seat and guide the man towards our Hostel by the power of my bicep. From there, we sort of shouted KTV until Marvis muttered something drunkenly, and then he took us to a very fancy KTV place.

 

Marvis at the Dinosaur Restaurant

So, KTV for those who are not in the know, is like Kareoke but with small separate rooms. They made us order food and rent the room, and then we sang Purple Rain, Kiss the Girl, and These Boots Are Made For Walking for an hour. I also performed Love’s Cha Cha, much to Marvis’s amusement, and only forgot 50% of the words – I count this as a win. The English songs had these weird, homemade 80’s music videos playing at the same time… very strange.  

We then stayed for an extra half an hour or so, singing into the microphone without any music. They kept trying to encourage us to either pay for another hour or, well, vacate the room, but since they didn’t directly kick us out so much as stare disapprovingly, we ignored them. Tenacious D, Disney and the Beatles all made appearances, and by the time we stumbled back to the hotel, it was 5 in the morning.

I didn’t have a voice for most of the week because of this, but it was pretty much worth it.

Happy Family Hostel Indeed

Conversations I have had:

Homework Answer: “I don’t know. Ask my mom.”

Me: “Why should I ask her? It’s your homework.” 

Student: “She is very smart.” 

Me: “Then why didn’t you ask her?” 

Student: “She is sly pig.” 

Me: “… I beg your pardon?” 

Student: “Sleeping?”   

Me: “In America, they cut down many trees. It is bad for the environment.” 

Student: “Teacher Meaghan, in America they cut down how many trees? 1000?” 

Me: “More. 1 million, maybe.” 

(Collective horrified gasp) 

Student: “Teacher Meaghan, in America, they use how many tissues?!”   

Me: “Look, I can do magic!” 

Student (whispers): “Do you know Teacher Allison can take she’s thumb out?” 

Me: “Huh? Oh, she can take her thumb off? Oh, yeah, all Canadians can do that.”   

Marvis: “I got a ticket today! Is so fucking stupid!” 

Me: “Oh no, Marvis!” 

Marvis: “Fucking stupid. Meaghan, you need to teach me more cuss words.”