TEN THINGS TO DO WHILE CONSTRUCTION MONITORING

(To Prevent Committing Homicide As An Act Of Self-Amusement)

1) Build Rock Piles!

It can be a stimulating challenge to pile one rock atop another, in the hopes of making the ultimate natural skyscraper, the hoodoo. To add difficulty, find rocks with rounded surfaces. Never forget the ultimate creative side of this activity - do not be afraid to spend many minutes searching for precisely the correct color or shape of stone as this, too, will help pass the time.

2) Suspend Rocks In Bushes!

This activity is most aesthetically pleasing when time is spent to find a variety of vibrant gravel pieces. Take care to gently place the stones in the crooks and forks of branches in your chosen bush, as one false move could potentially dislodge all previous efforts. A Salt Bush or Sagebrush is most highly recommended, due to their stability and highly branching limbs.

Here you can see the typical mistake of not choosing brilliant enough colors, and how it disguises the true beauty of your work.

3) Decorate Bushes with Flagging Tape!

The desert is littered with pieces of recyclable treasure in a whole rainbow of colors. Tear flagging into small pieces and impale them on the spiny protrusions of Yuccas, Joshua Trees, Cacti or Salt Bushes. Be sure to evenly distribute colors! Singing Christmas carols is an optional addition.

Oh Salt Bush, Oh Salt Bush, How Lovely Are Thy Spiky Protrusions!

4) Play Bejeweled On Your Phone!

Do not play the timed game, as the slow passage of seconds and minutes will be almost unbearably depressing.

5) Pace!

6) Balance Rocks On Other Objects!

A variation on the classic "Hoodoo" experience. Be aware that when your back is turned (likely to find more building materials) the construction workers may take it as a challenge to throw stones in order to knock down your artwork. Consider this an invitation to improve your work by seeking stones with the appropriate concave dent, suitable for lodging precisely on poles. As you increase your efforts, so too will they, until somebody wins.

Little does he know - he will NEVER get that rock off that pole.

7) Play Hacky Sack By Yourself, With Pebbles!

Be aware that each pebble is unique and will require different angles and force.

8) Kick Sticks!

To reduce foot pain, try to only kick the sticks that are not still attached to trees.

Tip: Don't Kick These.

9) Kick Rocks!

Know your size limits!

10) Get Overly Excited About Centipedes!

Finger-sized.

They may not be lizards, but you're bored - lower your standards!