From the air, San Francisco Airport is a patchwork quilt of red estuaries. Some are dried and cracked, while others are scarred with the trails of optimistic vehicles which spread out before rapidly aborting in what one can even see from the air is deep mud. The faint tracing of flowing streams braid through them, tendrils coiling purposely through oxide-tainted muck. The plane swoops low down over the bay, and dots resolve into boats, then buoys, then birds.
From the ground, San Fancisco Airport is a blur of hastily read and followed signs, for my flight was delayed and I now have only 30 minutes to get my ticket, fly through security, and dash to my gate. I am thankful I’m in San Francisco however; clear signs and an orderly layout make it pretty easy to get there in time. LAX, which appears to be a maze constructed by the devil himself, would have been a lot more stressful of an ordeal.
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The emergency instruction video on Korean Air is reminiscent of a 70’s vacation ad. Everyone is smiling awkwardly and dressed far better than anyone I can see in my immediate vicinity, and when presented with the emergency landing warning they react as if they’ve been told they are engaging in an impromptu rafting adventure. To be fair, that is true. Even their flotation devices look kitschy and fun; you inflate them by tugging twice like a train conductor and if that doesn’t work there’s a whistle-like backup valve you blow into… which is also sort of like a train conductor.
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Lunch on Korean Air is bibimbap, which is a delicious combo of rice and veggies. It came with instructions. There were five steps: add the rice to the veggies, add the chili paste to the rice and veggies, add sesame oil, stir, and eat. It came with directions in English, chinese and Korean, and color pictures just in case I was still floundering on how to consume this complicated delicacy of shit you put in a bowl and stir together.
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Note: Action movies are dramatically less cool on airplanes, partly because you’re surrounded by so many people who are sleeping.
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At Seoul, I watch a TV show that consists of clips of this girl eating while wearing funny hats. She is pictured looking completely unconvinced (of what, I do not know) while holding a rainbow trout and wearing a duck hat. There is a frog hat for dumplings, hat of hair while eating rice, and bright pink cat ears must be a favorite because they show up for a few different food groups. She appears to be making slightly-awful jokes, if the way people around her are spraying food and avoiding eye-contact is any indication. They all seem to be endowed with excellent face-palming-supression skills.
I’d forgotten how much I loved watching TV that made absolutely no sense.
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NOTE: Korea doesn’t make you take off your shoes, thus preserving your nose and your dignity.
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